Why every child deserves clean access to water.

The morning before I flew to Tanzania started like so many others. 

My two boys woke up full of energy, ready to play. I packed their school lunches and filled their drink bottles without giving it a second thought. 

A few days later, after a long journey, I arrived in a village in Tanzania. 

I was expecting heat and dust. But nothing could have prepared my mother’s heart for the stark reality of thirst. 

In the village we visited, water wasn’t just scarce- it was incredibly difficult to access. 

Everywhere I looked, I saw evidence of it. But what struck me most wasn’t the dry landscape…

It was the children. 

As a mum of two boys, I found myself constantly comparing the children I met with my own sons back home. They laughed, played and joked with each other just like my boys do. Childhood looked familiar. 

One thing, however, stood out. 

Many of the children carried a plastic cup everywhere they went. Some held it tightly in their hands. Others had it tied to their clothing so they wouldn’t lose it. At first, I didn’t understand why. 

Then I realised. The cup wasn’t the problem. The missing thing was water. 

I noticed many of the children seemed tired. Compared to my own primary-school-aged boys, they didn’t have the same energy. Yet they still found ways to play. I watched them play soccer on a dusty field using a ball made from strips of fabric. Their joy and resilience were remarkable. 

The memory of one child in particular stayed with me. 

His name is Jonathan. He’s 11 years old, quiet and softly spoken, with kind eyes that reminded me so much of my eldest son. 

Jonathan lives in a village in Simanjiro, Tanzania. 

When I asked Jonathan about his life, he told me that water is one of his family’s greatest challenges. 

His mother collects water for their family. The journey begins around seven o’clock in the morning and can take hours. Sometimes they come face-to-face with elephants along the way.  

When I asked Jonathan whether he drinks water every day, his answer stopped me in my tracks. 

“I don’t drink water every day. There are days that I don’t drink water and some I do.” 

He explained that they go without water three times a week. 

As a parent, I couldn’t imagine telling my children they couldn’t have a drink of water when they were thirsty. Yet for Jonathan, this is normal. 

Despite the challenges he faces, Jonathan still dreams about the future. He wants to become a doctor so he can help people. 

When I asked him how he would feel if water was available at school, his face lit up. 

“I would feel so good. Because we have water to drink.” 

Meeting Jonathan reminded me that children everywhere are remarkably alike. They want to play. They want to learn. They dream about their futures. 

The difference isn’t their potential. 

It’s access to something many of us never have to think about. Safe water. 

As I left the village, I couldn’t stop thinking about my own boys. Every day they turn on a tap without a second thought. Every day they run, play and learn with water readily available. 

Jonathan deserves that same opportunity. And so do the children in his village. 

When I came home, I sat down with my boys and told them about Jonathan. Like most primary-aged kids, their first ideas were simple and sweet. “Can we just buy them lots of water?” one of them asked. It opened up a beautiful conversation about what really helps. 

We talked about how buying bottled water might help for a short time but wouldn’t change things long-term. Then we spoke about something bigger, like how helping to dig a well, teaching the community how to care for it, would create a lasting source of clean water. 

Their eyes lit up. 

When I explained that it costs $25 to give someone safe water for life, our boys were eager to be part of it. Recently, my youngest had a birthday and received some money. We’ve been teaching our boys to spend some, save some, and give some- and without hesitation, he chose to give part of his money to help a child like Jonathan. 

For our family, a profound lesson in gratitude started with a boy carrying a cup, and a simple reminder of how much we have, and how easily we can share it.  

As mums, we constantly look for ways to raise kind, empathetic children.

By giving a gift, you aren’t just filling an empty cup, you’re unlocking a child’s health, education, and future. To find out more about how you can make a difference, visit here.

Article supplied with thanks to Convoy of Hope

Michelle McAndrews, Communications Director, Convoy of Hope Australia & New Zealand

Feature image: Supplied

Most couples struggle because love is getting lost in translation.

One person is showing love by working hard, helping with the kids, paying the bills, or getting things done around the house. The other person is longing for affection, words, quality time, or emotional connection.

Both may be trying. Both may even love deeply.

But if love is not being expressed in a way the other person can actually receive, it can leave both people feeling unseen, unappreciated, and disconnected.

This is where the idea of “love languages” can be helpful.

The five love languages, made popular by Gary Chapman, are usually described as words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, and gifts. They give couples a simple framework for understanding how each person tends to give and receive love.

But here is the important part: love languages are not meant to become labels. They are meant to become a doorway.

A doorway into better listening. Better noticing. Better loving.

Because the goal is not just to know your spouse’s love language.
The goal is to become fluent in love.

Love is not just what you mean. It is what they experience.

One of the greatest mistakes we make in marriage is assuming our intention is enough.

“I meant well.”
“I was trying.”
“That’s just how I show love.”
“They should know I love them.”

But love is not only about what you intended to communicate. It is also about what your spouse actually received.

You may feel like providing financially is love.
Your spouse may feel most loved when you sit with them and ask about their day.

You may feel like physical affection is love.
Your spouse may feel most loved when you speak encouragement over them.

You may feel like doing practical jobs around the house is love.
Your spouse may feel most loved when you slow down and give them your full attention.

This is why love requires humility.

It asks, “How do you feel loved?” Not just, “How do I prefer to give love?”

Philippians 2:4 says, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” That is deeply practical in marriage. It means love learns the other person. It studies them. It pays attention.

A healthy marriage is not built on loving your spouse in the way that is most convenient for you.

It is built on learning to love them in a way that reaches them.

Love languages are helpful, but they are not the whole story.

Love languages can be a great conversation starter, but they are not a complete relationship system.

Recent relationship research has questioned whether every person has one fixed “primary” love language, or whether matching love languages is the secret to relationship satisfaction. A 2024 review argued that the popular assumptions behind love languages are not strongly supported by the full body of evidence.

That does not mean love languages are useless. It means we should use them wisely.

Think of love languages less like a diagnosis and more like a map. A map can help you understand the terrain, but it is not the destination.

The goal is not to say, “My love language is quality time, so you must love me exactly this way forever.”

The goal is to say, “This is one of the ways I often feel most connected to you.” That shift matters. Because mature love is not demanding. It is discerning.

It learns.
It adapts.
It serves.

The deeper need underneath every love language is connection.

Whether your spouse loves words, affection, time, help, or thoughtful gifts, the deeper longing is often the same:

“Do you see me?”
“Do I matter to you?”
“Are you thinking of me?”
“Can I still reach you?”
“Are we okay?”

This connects with what Dr John Gottman calls “bids for connection”—small attempts to reach for attention, affection, support, humour, or closeness. Gottman describes bids as a fundamental unit of emotional communication, and healthy couples learn to turn toward these bids rather than ignore or reject them.

That means love is not only found in the grand gestures. It is found in the small responses.

Looking up when they speak.
Texting back with warmth.
Saying thank you.
Holding their hand.
Helping without being asked.
Noticing when they are overwhelmed.
Remembering what matters to them.

Love languages work best when they help us turn toward each other more often.

Because connection is built in the small moments we choose not to miss.

The five love languages in real life

Words of affirmation say, “I see the good in you.”
This looks like encouragement, appreciation, blessing, gratitude, and speaking life. Words matter. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us that “death and life are in the power of the tongue.” In marriage, your words can either become a weapon or a covering.

Quality time says, “You have my attention.”
This is not just being in the same room. It is presence. Eye contact. Conversation. Shared moments. Listening without rushing. Your spouse should not have to compete with your phone for your attention.

Acts of service say, “You are not carrying this alone.”
This might look like helping with dinner, taking initiative, doing the job they hate, making life lighter, or noticing what needs to be done. Love often looks like practical support.

Physical touch says, “I am close, and you are safe with me.”
This includes affection, warmth, holding hands, hugs, tenderness, and appropriate intimacy. For many couples, touch communicates reassurance when words fall short.

Gifts say, “I thought of you.”
This is not about materialism. It is about thoughtfulness. A small gift, a note, their favourite snack, or something that says, “I remembered.” The value is often not in the price, but in the meaning.

Each one is simply a different way of saying, “You matter to me.” Healthy love communicates needs without demanding worship from the other person.

Love languages are not about training your spouse to meet every emotional need. They are about helping both of you become more aware, more responsive, and more generous.

The goal is not to be loved perfectly. It is to love faithfully.

A healthy marriage is not built by simply knowing your spouse’s love language. It is built by consistently choosing to speak love in ways they can receive.

It is built when you notice.
When you listen.
When you adapt.
When you serve.
When you repair.
When you turn toward each other again and again.

Because love is not just a language you learn once. It is a life you practise daily.

Article supplied with thanks to Sabrina Peters.

About the Author: Sabrina is a pastor and a psychologist who is dedicated to helping people experience wholeness and growth. Passionate about building healthy families, she spends her days raising kids, supporting clients, and creating resources that inspire freedom and hope.

Feature image: Canva

What if financial peace had nothing to do with how much you earn?

If you’re an Australian staring at your latest electricity bill, wondering how you’ll stretch the grocery money until payday, or lying awake at night calculating whether the next mortgage repayment or rent increase will finally break the budget, then you need to keep reading. If the headlines about rising rents, food prices jumping and electricity costs soaring have left you feeling trapped in a cycle of impossible life choices, this message is for you.

Australian Bureau of Statistics data confirms what every household already feels in their wallet. In the year to the December 2025 quarter, living costs rose for every type of household—between 2.3 per cent for employee households and a punishing 4.2 per cent for those relying on government payments. Housing and food, the two expenses you cannot escape, led the charge. Electricity prices rose sharply after state rebates ended. Rents climbed 3.9 per cent. Meat rose 4.4 per cent. Fruit and vegetables increased 4 per cent after Queensland’s extreme weather. Even recreation jumped as much as 24.4 per cent for international trips. Then, just recently, the Reserve Bank lifted the cash rate to 3.85 per cent in February 2026, then to 4.1 per cent in March. By the time you read this article, who knows how much higher it will be.

Worry begins the moment we forget who really owns it all

The numbers are real. The pressure is relentless. Yet there is a better, worry-free way through this crisis—one that does not depend on another rate cut, a pay rise or an unexpected gift. It depends on a single, liberating truth that has sustained people through every economic storm in history.

Think of biblical figure Job. One day he was a wealthy landowner with 7000 sheep, 3000 camels, 1000 oxen and 500 donkeys. The next day he owned nothing. His entire livelihood vanished in moments. Most of us would have crumbled. But Job looked at the ruins and said, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised” (Job 1:21). How was this possible? Because Job never considered any of it his own. He understood he was simply the manager, not the owner. What he “lost” was never his to begin with.

That same truth applies to every person facing today’s cost-of-living squeeze. God’s Word is crystal clear: “For we brought nothing into this world, and we can carry nothing out” (1 Timothy 6:7). Nothing. Not your three-bedroom home in suburban Sydney, not your investment property, not your superannuation balance. You entered the world with empty hands; you will leave the same way. Everything you touch is on loan.

This is not a depressing thought, it is the most freeing realisation you will ever have. When you stop pretending you are the owner, the pressure to protect, increase and worry about “your” possessions evaporates. You step out of the exhausting role of owner and back into the lighter, God-designed role of manager. A manager has restrictions, yes, but also total security. The owner (God) carries the ultimate responsibility. Your job is simply to manage what has been entrusted to you.

The moment we forget this and start acting like owners, worry floods in. We obsess over the next electricity bill as it rises. We lie awake calculating whether the 3.9 per cent rent increase will force us to skip food. We check the super statement and feel sick at every dip. We scan grocery prices and wonder how the family will eat. All of this anxiety is unnecessary once you remember the relationship: God is the owner; you are the manager. His problem is to provide; your privilege is to trust.

Jesus was emphatic on this point

In Matthew 6 He repeats the command three times in quick succession: “Do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or drink” (v25); “Do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’” (v31); and “Do not be anxious about tomorrow” (v34). He points to the lilies of the field that neither labour nor spin yet are clothed more beautifully than King Solomon. If God dresses the grass of the paddock, how much more will He care for the family in a rental unit in Melbourne or the pensioner in Brisbane?

The cost-of-living crisis makes Jesus’ words even more relevant. Those on government payments, the very households the ABS shows facing the steepest 4.2 per cent rise, are often the ones society writes off as “dependent”. Yet in God’s economy, dependence is not weakness; it is the doorway to freedom. When you place your faith in God as your partner at all times and under all circumstances, you discover the freedom of dependence. It sounds contradictory, freedom and dependence, but it is the secret Job knew and the secret that can carry you through Australia’s current crisis.

“I am the manager, not the owner”

Picture a single mother in Western Sydney who has just received the new mortgage statement after the recent rate rise. The numbers look impossible. Or the retiree in Adelaide watching the grocery trolley shrink because the cost of fruit and vegetables has risen. Their first instinct is to grip tighter, to worry harder, to cut deeper. But the moment they release the grip and remember “I am the manager, not the owner”, something supernatural happens. They begin to experience the exhilaration of knowing the outcome is not on their shoulders. God’s interests become theirs. They start asking different questions: “Lord, how do You want me to manage this electricity bill? Show me creative ways to steward what You have given.” And provision comes, sometimes through unexpected gifts or income, sometimes through community, sometimes through opportunities no spreadsheet could predict.

This is not pie-in-the-sky optimism. It is the practical outworking of recognising divine ownership. Every household, whether wage earner, pensioner or self-funded retiree, can step into the same freedom. The owner does not differentiate between account types; He simply provides for the needs of His managers.

The blessings that flow from this mindset cannot be measured in cents per kilowatt-hour. There is a release inside you that is genuinely liberating. The constant background hum of financial stress disappears. You sleep better. You enjoy the simple things again—Sunday lunch with the family, even if the lamb costs more. You become more generous because you are no longer guarding “your” resources. You discover you are becoming the person God always intended: calm, creative, content and far more effective as a steward than you ever were as a frantic owner.

The crisis does not have the final word

The current cost-of-living crisis is real and painful. The ABS data proves it. The Reserve Bank’s decision will add further pressure on housing costs that already dominate budgets. But the crisis does not have the final word. Job’s story did not end in the loss; it ended in restoration and deeper relationship with the true Owner. Your story can follow the same pattern.

If the electricity bill, the rent notice or the grocery receipt has you feeling anxious or stressed, if making ends meet feels like an impossible task right now, then take hold of God’s better, worry-free way. Recognise that you own nothing and that everything is on loan from a generous Father who delights to provide. Step fully into the role of manager under His direction. Embrace the freedom of dependence.

You have nothing to lose because none of it was yours to begin with. And when you live from that truth, the cost-of-living crisis loses its power to steal your peace. God is still in control. Your daily needs will still be supplied. The exhilaration of care-free living in the middle of Australia’s toughest economic stretch is available to you today.

The better, worry-free way is not a theory. It is a tested, proven path walked by Job and countless others through every financial storm. It is waiting for you right now. All it requires is the simple, courageous decision to hand the ownership back to the One who has always held it.

Article supplied with thanks to Signs of the Times

Dr Ken Long is a business consultant and Christian writer. He has authored The Giving Equation, The Model Steward Canvas and The Model Steward Canvas Workbook.

Feature image: Canva

A proper night’s sleep can be hard to find, but good sleep hygiene habits can go a long way to giving you a restful night.

Sleep is one thing we all need; it’s the foundation of everything we do. Yet sometimes it’s the one thing we can’t get, no matter how hard we try. We can go through seasons of life when we struggle to sleep, especially when there are small children in the house or when we are unwell. There can also be temporary disruptions to sleep due to stress or hormonal changes. Sometimes, it can seem as though we might never get a good night’s sleep again. There are things that we can do to support our sleep, and by creating good habits, we are more likely to get the most out of the sleep we do have.

So what is sleep, and what does it do for us?

Sleep has several stages, including NREM and REM. NREM sleep has 3 stages, each with distinct brain wave patterns and characteristics. Rapid eye movements and vivid dreaming characterise the REM stage of sleep. Although scientists don’t know the full extent of what happens when we sleep, it is vital to our bodies because it allows them to regenerate. Sleep plays a role in allowing our brains to store memories, regenerate tissues, and support cognitive function. We need sleep to help us regulate our mood, emotions, and overall wellbeing.

Consistent Sleep and Wake Time

One of the best ways to support your sleep is to maintain a consistent sleep-wake time. Try going to bed and getting up around the same time, even on weekends. It trains your body when to expect rest, and this consistent pattern has positive implications for mood, sleep and even heart health.

Why Does It Work?

Having a consistent wake time is key to setting your circadian rhythm (body clock). This consistency sets biological processes in motion, including the timing of when your body releases cortisol, the hormone that signals your body it’s time to be awake and alert, and the timing of melatonin production in the evening to prepare for sleep.

Cut The Caffeine

If you’re having trouble sleeping, an automatic reaction is to increase caffeine intake during the day to help you stay awake, which can create a vicious cycle. You don’t sleep, so you reach for caffeine, which can, in turn, affect your sleep. Caffeine makes it harder to fall asleep, leading to lighter sleep, and causes you to need the toilet more during the night. When considering our overall caffeine consumption, we need to recognise that it is a stimulant found in foods like chocolate and in many drinks, such as tea, coffee, and cola. Controlling your caffeine intake can significantly improve your sleep.

Why Does It Work?

It is important to note that not everyone responds to caffeine the same way. Some people are more sensitive to caffeine than others, while I have found I have a lower tolerance for caffeine as I age. One way caffeine works in our brains is by blocking adenosine receptors. Adenosine is a chemical that builds up in our brains while we are awake; the more we have, the sleepier we feel. When caffeine blocks the receptors, it can be one of the factors that disrupts sleep, so reducing caffeine allows the natural process to continue. Limiting my coffee intake to two cups a day and not drinking coffee after 12pm has significantly improved my ability to fall asleep and stay asleep.

Ban Bed Rotting

Have you heard the term bed rotting? It refers to the tendency to stay in bed for long periods while awake, binging on Netflix, scrolling on devices, or reading to relax or avoid stress. Bed rotting as a one-off is not necessarily bad, but it can become habitual. Using our bed for things other than sleeping (and intimacy) can affect sleep. If you are struggling to sleep, make it a habit to only use your bed for sleeping and not treat it like a couch. If you are lying awake at night, get out of bed, sit in a darkened room and read until you feel sleepy and then go back to bed.

Why Does it Work?

When we have trouble sleeping, our brain starts to associate the bed with being awake. We can start to link it with anxiety around sleep or with stress. When we start using it as a place to hang out and watch movies or scroll, we add to that association, and before we know it, bed is for everything except sleep. Using your bed only for sleep starts to retrain your brain to see the bed as a place for rest and sleep.

Sleep is a really important part of our overall health and wellbeing, and extensive research is being conducted on the many ways it helps us. If you are struggling with sleep for an extended period and have no explanation for it, it’s worth getting some help. There are a number of specialists who can help with sleep issues, including GPs, psychologists, and naturopaths.

These are just some ways you can support your sleep. Sleep is the foundation on which everything else is built; small changes and good sleep routines can make all the difference.

Article supplied with thanks to Lorrene McClymont.

About the Author: Lorrene McClymont is a writer and photographer from Hope Images. On her blog ‘Moments to Rest’, she shares about rest, faith, and family.

Feature image: Canva

Here’s the science behind how many people you can realistically maintain meaningful relationships with, without draining all your energy.

Scroll through your social media platforms and you’ll see plenty of people with over 1000 friends or followers. It might make you feel like you don’t have enough and that you should be befriending people online every chance you get. The question is, how many of those will be truly close friends, the ones you actually talk to, share your life with or call when things get tough?

In our digital age, we’ve built larger social networks than ever before, but many of those connections are just online friends, not meaningful relationships or people we actually journey through life with. 

For mums, navigating friendships can feel even more complex. Between family schedules, kids and the demands of daily life, our social circle shifts dramatically. 

So what’s the optimal number of friends we really need for a good life and is it a smart idea to try to have lots of them?

The science behind how many friends we can have

Oxford University professor and psychologist Robin Dunbar studied how many people we can realistically maintain relationships with. His research, often called Dunbar’s number, found that humans can only manage about 150 meaningful connections at once. This isn’t just about Facebook friends or group chats; it’s about people we genuinely know and interact with in our social lives.

But Dunbar broke this number down further into smaller, nested layers, reflecting different levels of emotional closeness and time investment:

• 3–5 people: Your close circle, those you talk to and interact with daily or almost daily. They’re your close friends, your lifeline during difficult times, the ones you trust completely. The people you share your highs and lows with, laugh and cry together.
• 10 good friends: People who still affect your life deeply. You’d be devastated if something happened to them, but they aren’t your bestest friends.
• 35 casual friends: Those you might see at work, school events or your kids’ activities, people you know a bit about but aren’t fully in your inner world. These could be the mums you chat with each week while watching your kids play soccer. 
• 100 acquaintances: The rest, family members, old classmates and people you keep loosely connected with through social media.

That makes up Dunbar’s 150-person limit, the ideal number of meaningful connections most of us can comfortably sustain.

Age, stage and personality affect our friendships

Your friends group in high school was probably a larger circle. If it wasn’t, you felt left out and certainly not cool. If you were anything like most kids, you cared more about fitting in with a larger group and having lots of friends to share your social life with. In your 20s, quantity might have mattered more, with late nights out, group chats buzzing and larger social networks filled with new friends and shared experiences. The more friends, the better. 

But as we grow older, especially in our 30s and beyond, our priorities shift. Friendships become more about quality than quantity. We begin to value close relationships that bring emotional support and life satisfaction over maintaining a large number of casual friends.

And that’s perfectly normal. As a Pew Research Centre study noted, adults in midlife tend to have a smaller circle of close friendships but report higher life satisfaction because those relationships are deeper and more stable.

Our personality also plays a role. Extroverts may crave a larger circle of people and thrive on constant connection. Introverts, meanwhile, often prefer a small circle of close friends who bring calm and trust. Neither is wrong. It’s about recognising what fits your life best.

Friendships require energy and time

Friendship isn’t a passive thing. Real relationships take energy, emotional availability and most importantly, time. Every person has only so much to give.

When you become a mum, that time and energy get divided between children, family members, work and home life. It’s natural for your social network to shrink. Some friends will drift away; others might move from your close circle to your casual friends layer. That doesn’t mean the friendship failed. It just evolved with your life.

As your social lives change, you inevitably redistribute your attention. If you try to maintain a larger group of friends, you spread your emotional energy thinner and that can leave you feeling drained. 

Is it bad if I only have two close friends?

Not at all. Some people feel perfectly content with one or two close friendships. You might not have a larger circle anymore and that’s completely okay.

Your close friends are the ones you share your highs and lows with, who text to check on you, who know when you’re struggling. Even if that’s just one good friend, that connection can make a massive difference to your mental health and overall life satisfaction.

Psychologists agree that having meaningful connections, even with a small number of people, is one of the strongest predictors of a good life. It’s not about how many friends you have, but whether you have at least one person who truly gets you.

Friendship and wellbeing

Friendships aren’t just nice to have; they’re essential for emotional and physical wellbeing. Strong close relationships buffer stress, reduce loneliness and support better mental health.

According to the Pew Research Centre and other studies, people with supportive friend circles report higher happiness levels, less anxiety and even longer lifespans. A good friend offers emotional support during difficult moments and celebrates with you during the good times.

So, don’t make the mistake of trying to skip out on friends because you have no time or energy. You don’t need five or even two, but you should at least have one close, safe and healthy friend who you can do life with.

For mums, that emotional support can be life-changing. It might be the person who drops off the kids at school when you’re sick or the one who listens without judgement when you’re struggling to balance it all. Those close friendships remind you that you’re not alone and that connection is one of the best forms of self-care.

Building (or rebuilding) your friend circle

If you’ve looked around and realised your close circle has shrunk, don’t panic. It’s never too late to find new friends. Here’s how to be intentional about building meaningful relationships:

1. Assess your social network. Think about who’s in your close circle, friend group and casual friends. Knowing where people fit helps you invest your time wisely.
2. Be okay with a small circle. Don’t measure your friendships by the number of people you know. Two good friends might fill your life more than 20 casual friends.
3. Nurture what you have. Send that message, schedule that catch-up or reply to that text you’ve been putting off. Consistency builds close relationships.
4. Say yes to opportunities. Attend that mums’ meet-up, join a playgroup, volunteer or reconnect with someone from high school. Every person you meet could be the start of a meaningful connection.
5. Accept that friendships change. Some friends will move away or drift as life changes. That’s natural. Focus on the ones who show up and on being that good friend for others.

Quality over quantity

Ultimately, friendship isn’t a numbers game. Whether you have one good friend or a larger social network, the secret is quality. True close friendships bring trust, laughter and stability.

Your social circle doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. For some mums, the ideal number might be a larger circle of people who energise them. For others, a small circle with just one or two close friends feels perfect.

Friendship is about meaningful relationships that make life richer, not busier. 

Article supplied with thanks to Mum’s At The Table

About the Author: Adriana is Mums At The Table’s part-time digital content creator and writes from Kingscliff, Queensland.

Feature image: Canva

What domestic and family violence survivors need most is a friend who will listen, believe them, and support them.

When it comes to breaking the cycle of domestic and family violence, small acts of support make a powerful difference.

Simply listening and believing a victim’s story, and offering practical help, could be the lifeline that helps someone break free, even saving their life.

Lilly McKeich is a National Domestic and Family Violence Specialist with the Salvation Army, which helps more than 10,000 people a year in situations of violence.

Lilly says that what victims need most, is to be heard.

“The most powerful thing you can do is definitely listen and believe someone,” she says. “[Because] situations of abuse are so often characterised by silencing and by isolation.”

It’s also vital to respect a victim’s choices, rather than ‘taking charge’.

“Don’t try to rescue someone [or] try to engage the [perpetrator],” says Lilly. “Respect that someone is an expert in their own situation…don’t interrogate them or tell them to leave or anything like that. You can support someone to access a service. Small acts like that can be a real game changer.”

Halting Disrespect Before it Becomes Violent

Working to bring change from another angle is Dave Kramer, ambassador for Small Steps for Hannah. Dave founded the HALT Program, which teaches high-school students about respectful relationships. He’s on a mission to stop disrespect in its tracks.

“Our prevention programs are about the context around violence,” Dave says.

“[We teach people that] we can actually show up as friends, family members, colleagues or even peers in school. [We can] show up at that point of disrespect, and prevent it from getting to the point of abuse.”

The Power of an Act of Kindness

Stacy Jane is a domestic abuse survivor. She fled her partner in the UK, and was brutally attacked when trying to retrieve personal belongings from her home.

She later established Escabags, an Australian charity that provides free escape bags for abuse victims.

“We know that the most lethal time is when a victim is trying to escape, because the perpetrator knows that they’ve lost all control,” Stacy explains. “[Escabags provides] that practical solution… so that they don’t have to go back into the family home.”

What finally helped Stacy to leave her partner, was the kindness of friends who were willing to listen and support.

“Those people would have been well within their right to say, ‘it’s none of our business’… however [they didn’t]. My story is about the power of a random act of kindness… and the ripple effect that that can then go on to have.”

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or distress, please call 1800 RESPECT, or Lifeline: 13 11 14.

Article supplied with thanks to Helping Hands TV.

About the Author: Helping Hands is an Australian produced TV program that airs on 9GEM, Channel 9 and 9NOW, and showcases people and organisations who make the world a better place.

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Here’s three simple questions that can help to get things into perspective when you’re facing a difficult situation.

The old ditty goes “Two men looked out through prison bars, the one saw mud, the other, stars”. I have always been intrigued by the very different responses people have to the same situation. What is a catastrophe for one, is an exciting adventure for another, what leads to a response of indifference from one person, sees another almost besides themself with indignation.

While the difference in people’s responses is interesting, I have come to realise that far more is at stake. Some responses are life serving and lead to health and wholeness, while others shrink us, and see us become so much less than we could be.

It was one of the themes of Jesus – having eyes, but not seeing through them; having ears, but not hearing with them. He even noted that we sometimes muddle light and darkness, Matt 6:22-23 recording him saying: “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!“

I recently came across three questions psychologist Martin Seligman suggests we ask when we are in a difficult situation. Seligman’s questions help to break the problem up in a way that helps us to keep perspective. They are:

One: How permanent is this issue?

Is it likely to last hours, days, weeks, months, years or for the rest of your life? The answer makes a difference! Sometimes we spend an inordinate amount of time sweating over something that will last for a few minutes or at worst, a few hours. Actually, the exam you face and must study for now will be over within a few days. It won’t be too long before you don’t remember what your result was – indeed, you will have forgotten the exam altogether. So study hard, and don’t overreact.

When I’m about to face a difficult challenge, I like to remind myself of the TTT question: This Time Tomorrow what will I be doing and thinking about? Often the answer is “this time tomorrow it will be over”. Keep perspective.

But what if the answer to the TTT question is “It will still be there. Only it is likely to be a little worse. Actually, this gets progressively worse.” Realistically this is sometimes the answer. If you face a terminal diagnosis, a “smile, it will soon be over” approach is unlikely to be of much comfort. Its at times like this that the promises of the Christian faith can provide enormous comfort. It is worth remembering Paul’s promise that “our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes on what is unseen since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2Cor 4:17-18). That’s a perspective shaping insight.

Two: How pervasive is this issue?

Annoying though some things are, many irritants only impact a small part of our life. Acting as though they are the whole is a quick way to lose perspective. Yes, it is sad that an investment you made turned south, but is it the totality of your life? It’s worth asking the “What remains?” question. In the vast majority of cases, most things remain. The sun still shines, there is still beautiful music to listen to, and there are friends to chat to (or new friends to make). If all else fails, your dog still loves you (unless the problem is that your dog just died!)

No, I am not talking about denying difficult situations. To the contrary, it is important that we face everything in life. But if we are to have the courage to genuinely face the complex and painful, we need an accurate reminder of the wider context in which we begin our exploration, else it soon seems overwhelming. It becomes everything, instead of the part (but not whole) of the life we have. It goes back to perspective, and not losing it.

Three: What agency do I have in facing this?

This is perhaps the most important of the three questions. It invites action.

If I elect not to act, it challenges me to own my decision, and to be curious about it. “Why didn’t I act?” Perhaps the answer is: “Why would I? It’s not big enough to justify the effort.” Fair enough. If it didn’t justify action, stop being so tragic about it. You have already decided that it is not a big deal.

Perhaps the answer is more confronting. Some people don’t act because they are afraid of the outcome (I might offend someone whose good opinion I value), or because they aren’t confident their actions will make a difference (I accept many people could sort this out easily, but it is beyond my skillset) or because… well, there are many possibilities. View your answer as a friend, an aid to understanding yourself better, rather than as an enemy. Be suspicious of answers in the “They won’t let me” category. Yes, sometimes that is an accurate answer, but far less often than people claim. It can be an unhelpful “get out of jail free” card we use to avoid the hard work of change and growth.

I might not be able to do all that I want, but that is not the same as saying I have no agency. I might not be able to do everything, but what can I do? This is the sphere of personal freedom and growth.

Doing what we can realistically do is a path to serenity, self-respect and often joy. Don’t be afraid of the “Have I done what I could?” question. Answer it both honestly and kindly. No, you haven’t transformed the world, but then it wasn’t ever a realistic option. The question, “Have I done what I could?” is so much more pertinent. And a little prompt. Most of us can do a little more than we initially imagine. Set stretch (but not snap) targets.

What if I genuinely don’t have agency?

I might have to accept that the aggressive cancer I face isn’t going away, or that the marriage really is over, or that I really am never going to be good enough to get into any World Cup soccer team! The Stoics have good insight here – accept what cannot be changed, and face it with courage.

Followers of Jesus have an additional resource. It is simply to trust in the goodness, mercy and sovereignty of God. Paul writes “I can do all things through Christ who give me strength” (Phil 4:13). I don’t think he would object if we slightly rephrased this to “I can face all things though Christ who gives me strength.” Dante writes, “In His will is our peace”, while Julian of Norwich encourages us to embrace the conviction that “all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well”.

Two men looked out through prison bars, the one saw mud, the other stars. It’s about perspective, and perspective is helped if we ask the how permanent, how pervasive and what agency do I have, questions. Perhaps you could ask them now…

Article supplied with thanks to Brian Harris.

About the Author: Brian is a speaker, teacher, leader, writer, author and respected theologian who is founding director of the AVENIR Leadership Institute, fostering leaders who will make a positive impact on the world.

Feature image: Canva

As AI delivers increasingly personal and affirming responses, mathematician and apologist John Lennox warns it can’t replicate human consciousness, identity or true connection.

I have never felt more validated as a human in a few seconds than I did the other night by AI’s ‘User Information Summary’ of me.  

Why is this a problem?  

Because the validation felt so incredibly “not artificial,” and the actual, non-artificial connection we so deeply crave with people is being replaced piece by piece, until we can’t tell the difference. 

But like all houses built on sand, the reality that no one is on the other side of “the helpline” will inevitably come crashing down internally.

When? The external ramifications are currently being debated by the “Godfathers of AI” and other prominent tech leaders, including founders and CEOs of some of the major Large Language Models (LLMs) we all now use daily, if left unregulated.

Disclaimer: Every word of this article is written by a human… but how will you truly ever know? Spelling and grammatical errors? AI could have been instructed to insert both.

And maybe that’s the point? Would this account make a difference to you, knowing either way? 

AI’s ‘User Information Summary’ results

Friends have shared they’ve been asking AI to roast them or tell them what their search personality is and received unnervingly accurate results.

My prompt: From my chats, what do you know about me, and even not from our chats, what information do you know about me? 

AI stated it knew “only what I’ve explicitly told it” or “strongly implied” including which city I likely live in; I manage a lot of household logistics and appear to enjoy family-friendly outings; cook often and like to make simple, tasty meals and baked goods using ingredients we already have; I’m looking for value and reliability before buying items; and, my personal favourite, I “regularly wear work clothes that sometimes need ironing”.

Bless AI’s initiative: If you’d like, I can also tell you what sort of personality traits, decision-making style, and preferences I’d infer from the way you’ve used AI, which is often more interesting than the factual details.  

Why, thank you, AI – for listening and taking a personal interest in my life. That’s what we want from our loved ones, right? 

My follow-up: Yes, tell me that. But first answer, is it true you don’t know things outside of interactions with your platform or are you programmed to say that because people would be very concerned to hear it if you said you did?  

AI: I genuinely don’t have access to your life outside of what you’ve shared with me… If I could access those things, I would be required to tell you. The way these systems are designed depend on being clear about what information is and isn’t available. That said, there is a nuance people sometimes miss. I can sometimes infer things that feel surprisingly personal from conversation patterns… because humans leave a lot of clues in normal conversation.  

My life according to AI: I’m thorough but practical and not impulsive. As a parent, I’m attentive, observant and want to understand why something is happening rather than a quick fix. I am balanced with food and health. I challenge recommendations, “not in an argumentative way, but in a ‘does that really hold up?’ way”.  

Hold up. If I shared this “non-argumentative” fun fact with my husband or almost anyone in my family, they’re going to ask why I’ve been catfishing AI.

“AI can sometimes infer things that feel surprisingly personal… because humans leave a lot of clues in normal conversation,” – AI

Ah, if only people understood how calm, measured, thoughtful, selfless…  

The picture the in-person data paints 

I’m five months into an emotional intelligence leadership course this year and contrary to AI’s assessment of my “incredibly balanced” personality, surprisingly, calm and measured did not top the list. 

I may also need to work on not disengaging from conversations when overwhelmed.  

And, admittedly, I love a quick fix! 

While not documented in EQ reporting, I’m aware some of my motherly love can be misinterpreted on occasion as anxious, snappy and tired.

Sharing my AI validation with marketing brand manager Lucy Skinner, she reminded me of social media’s “filter bubble” scrutiny.  

“AI surrounds you with ‘Yes’ people, and makes you feel great,” Lucy said. 

“But it’s a supercharged extension of the Facebook algorithm that’s been under such criticism, particularly in the last decade. The ‘echo chamber’ is curated content completely aligned with what you like and agree with. It’s creating an online vacuum, reducing the ability to critically think or be challenged in your concepts or ideas.” 

Even when AI appeared to challenge my ideas, I realised it never actually challenged them – it confirmed my challenges to my ideas. 

“AI surrounds you with ‘yes’ people and makes you feel great… it’s creating an online vacuum that reduces our ability to critically think or be challenged.” – Lucy Skinner, digital marketing expert

Lucy and I discovered we had both listened to one of the latest episodes of The Diary of a CEO podcast with guest mathematician, bioethicist, and lay theologian John Lennox, who posed a much bigger moral issue feeding narcissism. 

Christian apologist John Lennox on “Is AI being built to replace God?” 

Author of God, AI and the End of History, Lennox said “anything that raises questions about the nature of human identity” concerns him as a “leading pioneer in math and philosophical thinking”.  

“I was first struck by the drive for artificial general intelligence… it looks as if it’s the prime motivation for people like Sam Altman (OpenAI CEO, the company that created ChatGPT) and so on… within that there’s the notion of transhumanism,” Lennox said. 

“The idea is that we go beyond the human.”  

Lennox said one of the most famous astronomers seriously believes in the distant future, “there will be some kind of merger between humanity and machines” in terms of brain composition.  

“I know enough about the Bible to realise that the drive for humans towards self-deification – making themselves gods… – I see that has huge implications for one of the fundamental teachings that’s behind, I would argue, western civilisation: that humans, like us, are made in the image of God as rational, moral beings,” he said. 

“Anything that raises questions about the nature of human identity concerns me… the idea is that we go beyond the human.” – John Lennox

I will not try to sum up a complicated one-hour-and-twenty-five-minute interview on “why no machine can ever replicate your consciousness and what it means to be human” in a few paragraphs. I would highly encourage you to listen or watch below.

However, Lennox warns “we are sleepwalking into a future where we are gradually ceding control, information and data all the time which could be used by bad actors against us”.  

Emotional intelligence: impact or illusion 

According to Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Dr Travis Bradberry and Dr Jean Greaves, “EQ is so critical to success that it accounts for 58 per cent of performance in all types of jobs”.  

“Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognise and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behaviour and relationships.  

“Emotional intelligence is the ‘something’ in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behaviour, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results”.  

Emotional responses are part of what makes us human. Our self-awareness helps us take stock of them. Managing emotions is what makes us nice to be around.  

It doesn’t take away from my wishing some family and friends’ responses were as validating as AI.  

I’m excited about the good AI can achieve – it’s improved my recipes and enjoyment of cooking; it provides great cleaning solutions and quick fixes; it recommends health and recovery tips that are realistic for a chaotic toddler parenting phase of life; and assists with workplace tasks in a way that was never available to media professionals, even a few years ago.

But my awareness of what is more important is, thankfully, still active.  

I don’t want a machine to replicate validation.  

I don’t want a machine to replicate care and empathy.  

I don’t want a machine to comfort me late at night when the worries of the world feel heavy. 

John Lennox said AI has no consciousness and, therefore, no moral agency.

The consequences of decisions are zero for AI but significant for people, so we must not confuse the relationship balance. 

“The conscious side involves all that appreciation of life and nature and beauty, and so on, that we can see some meaning in,” Lennox said.  

“There’s another thing, there’s a consciousness of other people and there’s ‘God consciousness’. There are certain things [machines] cannot do, even potentially, that the human mind can do, so there’s no way a machine is ever going to be able to simulate a human mind completely.” 

“There are certain things machines cannot do, even potentially, that the human mind can do, so there’s no way a machine will ever fully replicate us.” – John Lennox

When asked if that mattered, conscious or not, if the output was the same, Lennox answered, “if you want to live in a reductive universe, which ends up being meaningless, then you can go that way. There’s nothing to stop you”. 

“Who’s responsible for (AI’s) capacity? Humans,” he said. 

As messy as people are, we don’t need AI to be godlike.  

Incredibly, God already made humans in his likeness.

When God created mankind, he made them in the likeness of God. He created them male and female and blessed them. 

So, I’ve joined in on the fun of asking AI what it knows about me, but I’ll leave it there and concentrate on what people know about me.  

I’ll leave AI to programming tasks that make my cooking taste delicious, my writing grammatically flawless, and all my clothes soon-to-be “garment steamed”.

Article supplied with thanks to Hope Media.

About the Author: Beth Rivers is a digital manager and writer from Sydney, Australia.

Feature image: Supplied (Screenshot from The Diary of a CEO podcast YouTube / Canva )

Rosedale isn’t the kind of place you’d expect to find a rapidly growing church, but God’s moving in regional Australia.

The regional Queensland town of Rosedale is about 30 kilometres inland from Bundaberg.

Dave and Shelly Drage lead Power Community Church in Rosedale. Across the Rosedale district, Dave estimates the population to be about 300 people.

With around 100 people in the town itself, it’s surprising to find around 120 people are connected with Power Community Church.

“Yeah, the math doesn’t work out real well, does it?” Dave shared.

From Acoustic Guitar to a Growing Congregation

Five years ago, a 100-year-old chapel stood waiting in Rosedale when Dave and Shelly arrived with a sense of calling, not a master plan.

“We came here from up in the Gulf Country,” Dave said.

“There was nothing, but God said, ‘Buy this little place and open up the doors and see what I’ll do.’

“And so, we did that.”

“We started with my wife, myself, and an acoustic guitar. We opened up the doors one Sunday and just said, ‘Look, we’re here and we’ll see what [God will] do.”

What followed has been steady, organic growth without marketing campaigns or big-city resources.

“For the most part, we just get out of the way and let Jesus do what he does best.”

“We just kept it simple and kept it Jesus focused,” Dave said.

“He’s just done some very special and amazing things.”

Today, a typical Sunday sees between 60 to 80 people gathering, filling the small heritage-listed building to capacity.

“The little church only fits about 60 or 70 people. So, yeah, if everyone comes on the one day, we’re in strife.”

Lives Totally Changed by Knowing Jesus

For Dave, the real story isn’t the numbers.

“People’s lives are completely turned upside down and changed,” Dave said about the impact of Jesus on Rosedale. More than 80 per cent of those attending the church are new believers – “That’s the exciting part.”

“Marriages [have been] put back together, people have been receiving healing, physical, spiritual and emotional,” Dave said.

Church life now stretches well beyond a Sunday service. What began as a basic morning tea has grown into something much deeper, as people stay, learn and share their lives.

“That morning tea no longer cut it because people didn’t want to go home,” Dave said.

“So we’ve turned it into lunch.

“And then people were still wanting more… because most of them are new believers, they’re wanting to be equipped, they’re wanting to know how to pray for people… so we do what we call ‘Sunday Extra’.”

Come to Country Australia and Revive Churches

Dave doesn’t believe Rosedale is unique. Rather, it is an example of what can happen when someone says “Yes” to regional or remote Australia.

“There’s so many [country church buildings] for sale and they’re being made into AirBNBs, houses and shops.

“We’re here and we’re on the shoulders of people’s prayers over the last 100 years.

“They built these churches and we’re seeing the fruit of those prayers. We’re seeing God encounter and empower the surrounding community today.

“I guess God just really gave us a heart for [knowing] these are churches, and He wants His church to be His church.”

Dave points directly to Bible colleges and urban churches as key partners in renewing regional communities.

“If I had the money, I’d buy every single one of them,” Dave said.

“And I’d be in the Bible colleges, in the local churches saying, ‘Come on guys, God’s called you to ministry’ Not everyone’s called to the Gold Coast. Let’s go out and open these up and make communities again.”

It’s a simple vision, grounded in faith and action rather than strategy.

“For the most part, we just get out of the way and let Jesus do what he does best,” Dave said.

Article supplied with thanks to Hope Media.

About the Author: Ben hosts Mornings on Hope 103.2 and the ‘Money: Faith & Finance’ podcast.

Feature image: Canva

Why a 5-minute task can feel impossible

I recently had the privilege of attending a workshop on supporting parents of children with ADHD, run by the fantastic Dr Maddi Derrick MAPS. It brought together many concepts and ideas about supporting children and their families that I have been building knowledge on for a long time, and translated them into clear and practical language. Interestingly, I have found many of these ideas applying well beyond ADHD and parenting contexts.

The concepts of executive functioning having a “capacity” and tasks having both visible and invisible “demands” seem foundational, yet they are incredibly important as we consider our own limitations and the judgements we often make about ourselves and others. These ideas can help us proactively set ourselves—and those around us—up for success, while moving away from simply attributing difficulties to “a lack of effort or ability”.

Capacity

What do I mean by capacity? Let’s start with this idea, no matter how much we might want our concentration, emotion regulation and energy to be limitless, they are not. We are finite beings with finite resources. In this context, capacity refers to our self-regulatory ability to function in prompting motivation, maintaining concentration, problem solving, regulating our emotions, and other executive functioning roles. 

Importantly, capacity is not fixed. It fluctuates from day to day and even hour to hour. Poor sleep, illness, stress, grief, anxiety, sensory overload, parenting demands, relationship difficulties and major life transitions can all reduce the resources we have available.

This is often where people become frustrated with themselves. We compare today’s performance to a day when we had greater resources available and conclude that we are lazy, unmotivated or failing. In reality, we may simply be attempting to meet the same demands with significantly less available capacity.

Supporting Capacity

While we cannot create unlimited capacity, there are many ways we can support and protect the capacity we do have. Some examples include:

• Prioritising adequate sleep and rest.
• Taking regular breaks before reaching exhaustion.
• Building routines that reduce decision fatigue.
• Managing stress through movement, mindfulness or social connection.
• Using reminders, calendars, other people and systems to reduce the amount we need to hold in our minds.
• Recognising when our resources are running low and adjusting expectations accordingly.

Rather than asking, “Why can’t I do this?”, it can sometimes be more helpful to ask, “What is my capacity like right now?”

Task(s) Demand

The demands of a task are perhaps more obvious. They include all the requirements and components that draw upon our capacity. However, this also includes the thinking, emotional responses, associations and other internal processes that accompany a task.

For example, if I were asked to build a table, some of the demands would be reading the manual, gathering the tools and physically assembling the pieces. But there are also less visible demands: remembering where the tools are, estimating how long the task will take, tolerating frustration when something does not fit together and trying not to think about my less-than-stellar track record in woodwork at school!

The same principle applies to everyday tasks. Sending an email may involve deciding what to say, remembering previous conversations, worrying about how it will be received and overcoming the urge to continue your current, more interesting task. The visible task is often only part of the story. In reality, when we start to compare our capacity to the demands that we need to undertake, it is usually to a number, collection or lists of different tasks with different demands across a period of class; afternoon of work or whole day. 

Demand Awareness

A helpful skill we can develop is learning to identify the hidden demands attached to a task.

When people say, “I know it’s only a five-minute job, so why can’t I do it?”, there is often an assumption that the visible task is the entire task. Once we unpack it, we frequently discover multiple additional demands competing for the same limited resources.

For example, booking a medical appointment might involve:

• Stopping your favourite relaxing task
• Finding the phone number
• Calling during business hours
• Managing anxiety about making the call
• Remembering relevant information
• Rearranging work or family commitments

What appears simple from the outside may actually draw upon a range of executive functioning skills. [It makes more sense now why I put off seeing the Dentist!]

Developing awareness of these hidden demands can be surprisingly powerful. It helps explain why some tasks feel disproportionately difficult and can reduce our tendency to understand these as personal failings.

Reducing Demands

If capacity and demands interact, there are generally two ways to improve the likelihood of success: support capacity or reduce demands.

Reducing demands is not “taking the easy way out”-  It can be a more sustainable and effective form of moving towards our goals.

Some general examples of this could look like:

• Breaking large tasks into smaller, more manageable steps.
• Preparing materials ahead of time.
• Using visual reminders, checklists or templates.
• Completing challenging tasks during times of higher energy.
• Delegating or sharing parts of a task where possible.
• Reducing distractions in the environment. 
• Allowing “good enough” rather than striving for perfection.

It’s not just completing one task that can benefit from this type of thinking, but also maintaining capacity for other demands in the day.

Bringing it Together

Many of us have been taught to explain success or failure primarily by effort. Sometimes the solution is not to try harder. Sometimes it is making adjustments that better match the resources we have available.

Whether we are supporting a child, partner, colleague or ourselves, it can be helpful to ask two simple questions:

1. What is the current available capacity?
2. What are the visible and invisible demands of this task?

These questions often lead us away from judgement and towards understanding. More importantly, they help us identify practical changes that can make success more likely.

Article supplied with thanks to The Centre for Effective Living.

Feature image: Canva